Friday, August 23, 2013

I'M BAAAACK!!!! Heresssss Margaret!


My inspirational photo from my wedding day. Helps me remember I have not always been this big. I am a work in progress. Every fat cell on my body along with wrinkles and white hair(yes I said white, I bypassed grey ) are all part of where I have been and where I am headed. My goal is to be headed to a healthier body type. Not thin, Not exactly what I was in this picture  because that is impractical and defeats me before I get started, but a healthier happier person who feels better in her skin and accepts herself for who she is. 

2013 Margaret-Week 1

I am still a work in progress and I will not give up on myself. This journey is one of the hardest I have faced. It is a race to get healthy. A race to be around for my husband,kids and family. With God's help anything is possible. 

I will be a healthier, more fit person again. My goals are large and so is my will to succeed. One pound at a time, One day at a time, One meal at a time. 


Wishing all my friends and family who are facing similar struggles great success, whether it be weight, alcohol, drugs or any other self defeating addiction you can beat this. Lets do it together.

Thanks to everyone for your support. Please keep me in your prayers as I continue on this journey of being FIT after FORTY!

Saturday, March 2, 2013


Sick and Tired of Being Sick and Tired. This week I have coughed and coughed and hacked and blew what I had left of my brains out of my head.
Bronchial infection did nothing for my weight loss goals this week. I got cold induced asthma which limited my activity but I have to say with all of that I still managed to lose the pound I gained last week.
Thank God for small favors right? I will take the loss.
I am feeling better but still tired...My week at work was chaotic to say the least, between Xerox and our home business I had no down time and had a hard time getting the rest I needed.
I still managed to make it to work every day. Took an antibiotic  too so I wouldn't get anyone else sick. I did a horrible job at keeping track of what I ate this week. Can't believe as I start building better habits in  just 5 weeks, it only took a few days being sick to break me...well its only for this week...gonna work to get back on track as I build up my strength. Looking forward to the weather warming up.
Gonna get my bike all tweaked and make sure my dog leashes are all ready so I can add these small steps to my day. I want to dust the the dust off my HIP HOP ABS DVDS and get on my WII too...I gotta make this fun or I won't do it, wish I was in shape enough to play sports thats how I stayed in shape years ago....
My mind says yes, but my body says "are you crazy???"
Between Inhalers, meds and chaos I am spinning....but this too shall pass...The good thing about blogging weekly is it brings me back to where I began every week. It helps me look back at my week and reminds me why I am doing this. Even though snow is on the ground now I am getting my spring clothes out in preparation for spring...if it won't come on its own I am willing it here...LOL Stay warm and healthy my dear friends.
So today, which is Saturday I am staying in my jammies all morning and drinking my coffee and taking care of me! Now I am making dinner and spending time with my family. Nothing could be finer! 

Friday, February 22, 2013


Don't Quit
When you've eaten too much and you can't write it down, 
And you feel like the biggest failure in town.
When you want to give up just because you gave in, 
and forget all about being healthy and thin. 
So What! You went over your points a bit, 
It's your next move that counts...So don't you quit!
It's a moment of truth, it's an attitude change.
It's learning the skills to get back in your range.
It's telling yourself, "You've done great up till now.
You can take on this challenge and beat it somehow."
It's part of your journey toward reaching your goal.
You're still gonna make it, just stay in control. 
To stumble and fall is not a disgrace, 
If you summon the will to get back in the race.
But, often the struggler's, when loosing their grip, 
Just throw in the towel and continue to slip.
And learn too late when the damage is done, 
that the race wasn't over...they still could have won.
Lifestyle change can be awkward and slow, 
but facing each challenge will help you grow.
Success is failure turned inside out, 
the silver tint in a cloud of doubt.
When you're pushing to the brink, just refuse to submit, 
If you bite it, you write it....But don't you quit! 
- Author Unknown

Okay, I knew this day was coming, I weighed in and GAINED a pound....:( Have been overly busy and sank back into some bad habits. But this time when usually that  gain would push me back months or make me want to quit, it makes me more determined. I have added another job too in the past week where I sit in a chair for 8 hours answering provider and member calls and the only activity I get is at night and weekends when I work my other two jobs....doing occupancy inspections and managing our family business. My life is by no means predictable or ordinary or routine.....
I am working on now trying to figure out exercises to do while sitting...wish me luck everyone as my journey just got a little tougher.
But whats a journey without having ups and downs along the way right???
Hope you all have had a better week than me...I will over come this and emerge VICTORIOUS!!!
Never Give up NEVER SAY DIE!!!!

Saturday, February 16, 2013


Through this process I am going through of making permanent changes to my eating habits and my thinking about my health, I have realized that THIS IS HARD!! I know no one said it would be easy but really really didn't think it would be this HARD! 
My life is not routine, I do not have set schedules through out my day. I am depending on myself alone! No one is here motivating me to get out of bed at 6 I still seem to want to sleep til 8 am when I know I need to get up and exercise as its the  only time in my day I have time for it.
Knowing this I am still having a block against doing it. However, I am thinking about it which is more than I used to, I am feeling guilty when I don't get my butt out of bed. 
I should be losing 2 pounds a week and instead I am only losing a half pound to a this rate I will have grandchildren before I get to my goal weight...:( that is not acceptable.

Below are some great snacks that taste yummy too...I am adding some of these to my snack list.
Hopefully it will give some of you guys a few great ideas as well.

Frozen fruit juice bar, 1.3 oz11 g451 g
Orange, small (2.5-inch diameter)11 g451 g
Light popcorn, 3 cups popped12 g602 g
1/2 sandwich, with 1 slice each bread and lunch meat and 1 oz cheese13 g14915 g
3 saltine crackers with 1 oz cheese13 g1729 g
Apple, small (2.5-inch diameter)14 g530 g
Sugar-free pudding, 3.7 oz container14 g602 g
2 graham cracker squares with 1 Tbsp peanut butter14 g1535 g
2 light Wasa crackers with 1 large hard-boiled egg15 g1388 g
3 saltine crackers with 1 Tbsp peanut butter15 g1536 g
Mixed berries, 1 cup fresh or frozen17 g700 g
Pear, small (1/3 pound)22 g811 g
Pudding, 4 oz. container sweetened24 g1301 g
Sandwich,  2 slices bread, 1 slice lunch meat and 1 oz cheese25 g20416 g
6 saltine crackers with 1 oz cheese25 g23110 g
Low-fat chocolate milk, 8 oz.26 g1588 g
Light popcorn, 7 cups popped28 g1404 g
6 saltine crackers with 1 Tbsp of peanut butter28 g2127 g
5 graham cracker squares with 1 Tbsp peanut butter30 g2426 g
Yogurt, 6 oz. container (low-fat, fruit-flavored)33 g1747 g
I weighted in for the week and had not lost or gained....I am not surprised as I did not eat as well and no exercise was done on my part. Not even my counter pushups and squats.:( 
Nobody to blame but myself. This journey is a long one and I am not going to get down over a scale not moving. Back to the drawing board and working this week on doing what I didn't do last week.
Hope you all have a great weekend and are having a little better luck on your journeys.

Friday, February 8, 2013

WEEK 3- My Journey Continues

I dedicate my Weekly blog to the greatest Daddy in the world, James (Jimmy)F. Tillotson!
He always taught me to work hard for everything and that anything worth having is worth working for!! He also wanted me to lose this weight! I am just sorry I did not do it before God took him home! I will make you proud, Daddy, today is a hard day for me as it is my daddy's birthday...he is with God now and its still very hard to grasp that I can no longer call him or give him hugs! I miss you daddy:( the pain is still there and the tears still fall! I will lose this weight and will honor my daddy who told me I could do it when I was ready. I am ready!!!:) I know you are with me daddy and helping me keep the strength to fight this battle. I love you!

I have been told to become a morning exerciser. (I hate mornings)-But listen to what the experts say:
Morning exercise works. Let me repeat that: Exercising in the morning is one of the best ways to stick to a routine. Even with the best intentions, life gets in the way of your desire to squeeze in a workout. Anyone—even you—can wake up 15 minutes earlier to squeeze in a 15-minute workout (especially when you sleep in your workout clothes).

My journey continues and I have decided to blog weekly as a daily blog is beginning to stress me out and I gotta not be stressed cause when I am this happens:
My goals this week have been to drink more water and exercise more, I have at least Semi mastered the water. My trainer has invited me to his boot camp training next week at Fitness Plus II (Tuesday night at 630 pm). I have agreed to go,  but nervous as I can see myself over doing it to keep up with the barbie dolls!!LOL. 

But this way I know I will get at least some cardio in for the week. I have another friend who suggested I go with her to a boxing class....Now that sounds fun as I love hitting things to get my frustrations out..hahaha.
I also am planning to do the HIP HOP ABS Dvds I have as most of you know how I like to get jiggy wit it!!!:) Because  that makes me break a sweat and you don't even realize it until you can't breath...haha.
I also weighed in today and I lost another pound...I now am 274! 
Yay!!! Next week I am shooting for two pounds....I think adding in the exercise will help tremendously. Have a great weekend everyone....Check back next week to see how I did this coming week. Gonna kick butt and not look back!! Who's with me? Lets do this!!!

Tuesday, February 5, 2013

DAY 17-20: Achieving Short Term Goals-Yields Long Term Results

As I walk this journey I am on I find many detours along the way! This past weekend ,I was out of town at a soccer tourney in Fort Wayne Indiana with my daughter, eating planned meals at planned times was impossible! I thought I was making good decisions but still managed to go over my calorie count each day! The good thing about journaling what you eat is you can look back at the end of the day and see where you went wrong! I have realized weekends are not my friend but it will not deter me! I know that two days doesn't kill all the work I have done! I also know that in order to be successful you have to set mini goals.
Here are just a few of my mini goals:
1.     keep track on paper or Lose It(app) everything I eat.
2.     do three sets of the following exercises per day: push ups(on counter), squats with chair, crunches
3.     drink one gallon of water per day (still haven't attained this one but getting much better)
4.     eat earlier and wake up earlier.
As one of my favorite Church Hymns say:

One day at a time sweet Jesus
That's all I'm asking from you.
Just give me the strength
To do everyday what I have to do.
Yesterday's gone sweet Jesus
And tomorrow may never be mine.
Lord help me today, show me the way
One day at a time.... ♪
Have a great week everyone!!!:)

Friday, February 1, 2013

DAY 14-16: Hot and Cold

Like the weather lately, I have been hot and cold with my journey. When things get busy I get cold, when things are routine I am hotter than fire.

 My weigh in this morning was a loss of a .5 pound which is not bad but 275 was not the result I was hoping for.
I do however know where I failed: I did not exercise the 30 min a day I should have and did only a few of the sets of squats,pushups,rows and situps I was suppose to do.
We head to Fort Wayne IN this weekend for a soccer tournament for my daughter and I am trying to get my business stuff handled so I can leave town which makes me stressful and not as mindful of what I put in my mouth.
The doctor also told me after my sleep study two weeks ago that I have moderate to severe sleep apnea and that he is suggesting a c-pap for me to help me sleep better so I can awaken more restful.
I should have that started within a week or so. Then maybe my energy level will get better as well so I can stop making excuses for the lack of energy I feel to do that 30 min a day cardio.
Just like the photo I posted for this blog...You can cheat on your journey and expect to reach the end!!!:)
Have a great weekend everyone and stay warm!!!

Thursday, January 31, 2013

DAY 13: Stormy Day in the Bluegrass

As Pooh would say, "this is undoubtedly a very blustery day today!"
Warm in the beginning and windy and cold to end the day. Today was a very productive day. I Inc our business, spoke with our accountant, opened a business account at the bank, invoiced and billed out  January's business stuff, but the most important thing that I should have done I did not do.....

I also did not eat the five meals a day. I am so food and exercise challenged. When my life gets busy I just don't think there is another minute I can squeeze in for anything. I managed to go to bed at a decent hour last night. 11:30pm. However I am still having trouble getting out of bed in the morning. My alarm goes off at 630am but my body says no.
Got to work on getting rid of  those bad habits I have formed over the past 15 years.
Still working on my jug of water a day...LOL
I weigh in again on Friday morning. I am not too hopeful as this week has not been kind to me.

I have however managed to stay within my calorie amounts but have eaten more salty foods. We also ate out twice this week due to being out late working on job sites. Paris KY and the Restaurant Jerry's was soooooo good for my tummy but bad for my Goals...:( I did eat a salad and corn pudding..LOL
I gave in and had some yummy sweet tea. My first sweet tea in two weeks. It was GOOOOD!!
I will continue to allow myself sweet pleasures occasionally because I know if I don't I will not be successful on this long journey I am on.
Exercise will be my focus coming up as I have mastered the keeping track of my food and calorie intake. However I will also continue to keep adding more veggies and fruits to my meals as well and less carbs.
Hope you all are doing well on your own journeys!:)

Tuesday, January 29, 2013

DAY 12: Another Doctors Appt...

My doc appt this morning was for the diabetic counselor at our family practice. I got some good news today, that my A1C last week came back within normal range and I am back to the pre diabetic status....however that being said I am to still follow the rules for carbs and sugars and still take my blood once every morning. This change is what I needed as I have been working to get this under control. Watching the amount of food I am eating is all I have been doing. I have cut nothing out of my diet, just the quantities. 
The dietitian was very proud of me!:) She said this is still serious and that I have to be very careful as my blood sugars are prone now to be out of control. As long as I stay on the same course I am on now with my diet and exercise that I will continue to improve my type 2 status. 
So folks, I may not have lost the weight I wanted but I did cut down on my sugars like I should and it got my sugars under control. That is a HUGE victory. Another reason to believe that the number on the scale is not all a healthy life style is about!:)
Things to keep working on: Finding time to exercise, going to bed earlier and eating the five meals a day...:(

Monday, January 28, 2013

DAY 10 & 11: The Weekend Cometh!

Been a busy weekend! Still only managed to eat 3 times out of the five I am suppose to be doing! I got a steroid shot in my heel yesterday(which was Friday) which has curbed my walking on treadmill! Apparently I have a heel spur and plantar fasciitis! Another nail in my coffin! However it's not stopping me! I have been doing great with the water! My son kyle has his jug next to mine and i am still winning lol! Still not up to a whole gallon a day but getting closer! My kids are being very supportive!
Writing down everything I am eating has also helped to curb putting things in my mouth, because sometimes I am just too lazy to record it on my Lose It app so I don't eat it..LOL
I like writing my food intake down because it helps me see what I have eaten and it typically correlates to how I am feeling.
My exercise this weekend has been work. No extra exercise so I feel like I have failed myself there but 12 hours of cleaning a filthy foreclosed home and cleaning all debris out really should count for some exercise...:)

THINGS TO IMPROVE ON TOMORROW:try to go to bed at a decent hour. and exercise more.
Drink even more water!:)

Friday, January 25, 2013

DAY 9: Weigh In Friday!

Today was not my favorite. It was weigh in day! My thought was I would lose at least 2 pounds maybe five...however, that was not the case. I have over all lost 1.5. My start weight was 277 originally. So my weigh in today was 275.5. I will admit I was sad and couldn't believe it but then my inner spirit and I believe God, told me to fear not that the number is nothing in the journey I am on. 
The journey to good health isn't about a number on the scale. I felt better this week, and I had more energy. That in itself is a success.
So as far as the scale is concerned I will weigh once a week for my own reason. But I will not let that number define me or make me feel like a failure. What I hope it will do is help me to realize what I have done right and what I have done wrong. 
This journey is hard, and it will about kill me, but not doing it will surely kill me. So even though I am facing the ups and downs, there is no turning back this time. Now we are facing the weekend. I am armed with a weeks worth of positive so I am going to work hard to stay strong this weekend and resist the urge  to undo everything I have done with my eating habits. I wish you all success on your own journey this weekend. Have a great one everyone!! I love you all and thank you all for the awesome support you have shown. You really find out who your friends are when the going gets tough. Keep me in your prayers and  I will do the same for all of you. 


My day has been very busy as usual...however my exercise is what is suffering. I do not find the time to exercise like I should. I have been drinking more water, eating within my calorie goal, and sporadically doing the exercises my trainer gave me.
When I am about to do it, I get a phone call or my husband calls for me to help him with an errand. Or the kids need me to do something for them. I am not good at taking care of ME!
My life has become an on call job for everyone but my self. I am 42 years old and I am not 100% sure how to change that about myself.
God called me to be a fixer of problems for my family and friends, a ear to listen, a shoulder to be cried on, and wisdom to bestow beyond my years. However, I am finding the taking care of me part of things to be non existent. Gotta find myself again, where I am important too.
For instance, last year my kids and hubby, when I got home from work had made a bath in our Jacuzzi tub complete with bubbles and glass of bubbly to help me was such a surprise that all I could say was, "thanks guys and I have so much stuff to do",,,they made me get in to the bath and once I did...It felt great, however I did not fully enjoy it because I felt guilty giving my self time when I had so much other stuff to be doing. That moment was defining for me and as I look back at it, I realized that is one part of my life I have got to  get better at. Thinking about me!
I know I am not the only mom or woman out there that feels this way, but I know this is sabotaging my weight loss goal.
I fear my weigh in tomorrow is gonna be less than I expected due to my inability to find time to work out.
I also have found out that I am an emotional eater. When finances knock at our door and when my kids and my schedules get really chaotic as they often do, I turn to carbs and oreos..LOL This journey is going to be even harder than I thought! I am still moving forward, one day at a time! Keep me in your prayers everyone. Thinking about me is going to be the hardest thing I have ever done in my entire life. But I know in order to be successful in this journey that's what I have to do!

Thursday, January 24, 2013


Today I confirmed once again I have a problem with green veggies and fruits. It takes time to cut those guys up and put in zip lock bags and eat them.. I find myself learning what a produce section is many changes to make and this focusing on my health is a lot of work...:(
I find myself focusing on the finish line and I need to embrace this journey I am on.
Try to find joy in it...:(
Teaching my self to rethink my way of eating. Not to eat for comfort but for substance. I am not perfect by any means, I still grab a few chips here and there but I am getting better every day. My weigh in is tomorrow. Hopefully I will see some progress from all this sacrifice! 
Exercising is still evading me, no time....gotta make time. Also though I try can't seem to get in the bed at a decent hour, fell asleep around 130 am this morning. 
Not good for me wanting to get up early. Figured I need to start getting up early and exercising before the day begins or I will not make the time for it. 
I also reconnected with again as it is a great community of people like me trying to lose weight and get healthy. Here is the link.
Hope all my friends are progressing on their journey. Love you all!! And again thanks for all the support.

WOKE UP: 8:00 am

MEAL TIMES: 10:34 am, 4pm, 930pm

WATER:(suppose to drink a whole jug) drank 6 glasses today

EXERCISE COMPLETED: 12 minutes on Ustep machine at PT


57 grams  PROTEINS
250  grams  CARBS
97  grams  FATS
I find I am still eating too many carbs even though I am cutting back and not eating enough protein...:( I see that is something I need to work on.

RESTAURANT FOODS:  McDonald's-Bacon,egg,cheese biscuit and a hashbrown with coffee
(this could be part of why I went over today)
FRUITS EATEN: banana, grapes

HOW I FELT:  pulled in a million different directions.

THINGS TO IMPROVE ON TOMORROW:try to go to bed at a decent hour. and exercise more.

BEDTIME: 130 am
Here  is hoping you are finding joy on your journey to better health.

Wednesday, January 23, 2013

DAY 6: Slow and Steady Wins the Race

I am on my 6th day to better health. My last six days have been incredible. I saw what I was putting in my mouth, what good and bad habits I have had and now working towards making positive and permanent changes. I have had friends asking me if I am taking anything (drug wise) and the answer is a resounding NO!! The journey I am on is a journey anyone needing to lose weight and eat healthy again can be on. No drugs, no quick fixes. No short term loss. No yo yo diets, No diets period...simply eating better and burning off more calories than I am taking in. Anything in life worth having is worth working for! 
That means a 2 lb weight loss per week is optimal and due to my size hopefully will lose a little more when you add water weight etc....
I am simply eating better and getting more active. My goal is life long goal. I want to lose this weight and keep it off for good. If you take pills or do anything else quick fix wise it is guaranteed not to last. I want to use the foods that God intended me to eat and exercise the body he gave me.
 I journal my food intake, I write it down. I am using a FREE app(because I am cheap and do not have a lot of money, lol) on my I phone called LOSE IT...its great because my phone is always with me and I can also download the app to my computer where I can type faster and keep track at home. 
I can scan bar codes and it gives me the nutrition info without me recreating the wheel. My personal trainer has told me that it is a great tool to use for keeping track of what your drinking and eating and how much exercise you are doing.He also recommended the Calorie Counter app, it does similar to Lose It but I found Lose it to  be more user friendly...:) More like Margaret Friendly...LOL
Whatever you use, just use it daily and log everything you eat. That way you know where you can improve the next day. Also it helps because sometimes I want something but I am  too lazy to write it down so I skip it and don't eat it..LOL
My life is busy. I have no time for complicated things. If losing weight is complicated I won't do it. So I am making things as stress free and less complicated as I can. 
Right now the first steps are to learn how to eat again. Healthy food can be good. I consider it my mission to find those recipes and foods.
I have had a bit of a setback with the doc today. Found out I have a heel spur, no wonder my feet have been aching so bad...:( See Podiatrist on Friday. Gotta get my feet good so my exercise does not suffer. Not a good day for exercise for me. :( But even if I have to virtually run in my bed on my back I will do something LOL

 WOKE UP: 8:00 am

MEAL TIMES: 11:34 am, 330 pm, 10pm...(got to do better eating earlier in evening)

WATER:(suppose to drink a whole jug) drank half a jug...yay.

EXERCISE COMPLETED: NONE...I am sad about that...should have at least done the squats but so busy. I need to set a timer and take breaks and do mini workouts...that might work.

TOTAL CALORIES CONSUMED OUT OF 1793 CALORIE GOAL: 1576 was under 197 calories.

31 grams  PROTEINS
194 grams  CARBS
72  grams  FATS


HOW I FELT:my feet hurt:( however I am feeling a little more energy, maybe its the water maybe its the matter I will take it.

THINGS TO IMPROVE ON TOMORROW:exercise, spread my meals out more and make sure to eat five times....:) and Go to bed earlier.

WENT TO BED:12:30 am...

Good luck to all my friends on this journey with me!!:) And thanks to everyone for the wonderful support, it means more than you know.

Tuesday, January 22, 2013

DAY 5: MONDAY!!!! The Beginning of a New Week!!

Though storm clouds gather above and a faint light at the end of my tunnel I still say, Happy Monday everyone! Today is a clean slate. The weekend is in the past and we are moving forward down the long and winding road to good health.  Been a busy day with Workman Home Repairs, lots of appt scheduling with subcontractors and working on tax stuff as well. I also started my PT with Kort for my back from the car accident I had in December. Hopefully they can get me on track not to be in pain while I try to work out. 
My eating is still not great. Took me till 12:30pm to put something in my mouth and it was a bowl of corn puffs and a cup of milk...LOL but I ate something. My kids are home from school today and they asked me when I got back from PT if I had eaten anything and I said NO and they said "mommy you should have had your second meal by now..." they know my plan better than me...LOL 
I told them they were right and I will work harder to get my five meals a day in. 
I want to give a shout out to Trent Castleman (my personal trainer with Fitness Plus II) again as he is so good and knowing what makes me tick and what I need to hear for encouragement. Yet he also knows what to say to get my butt in gear. Its easy to quit early in the game for someone like me who has over 130 pounds to lose. 
I am blessed to have a trainer who doesn't feed my negativity but helps me look at the positive steps I am making. Thanks Trent!! I am still on weigh in is on Friday so I will see if all the effort I am doing is paying off and I will see how much more effort I will need to continue putting into this.

WOKE UP: 8:30 am

MEAL TIMES: 12:30 pm, 3:00 pm, 8:30 pm

WATER DRANK:(suppose to do a whole jug) drank 5 cups. Only on my second jug of water, but that thing keeps looking at me everytime I open that fridge, so it won't be long till I am doing the jug a day my trainer is telling me I need to be doing..

EXERCISE COMPLETED: Went to PT for my back(from car accident) did workout with PT

TOTAL CALORIES CONSUMED OUT OF 1793 CALORIE GOAL: 1589-under 184 calories.

38 grams  PROTEINS
244 grams  CARBS
 54 grams  FATS


HOW I FELT: Had a little more energy today, still not drinking enough water or eating enough meals throughout day. sore from yesterdays workout.

THINGS TO IMPROVE ON TOMORROW:drink more water and do my cardio on treadmill....

WENT TO BED:1215 am

Monday, January 21, 2013

DAY 4: Sunday-the Day after my first backslide:(

Can you believe it only took two days into my journey to backslide...?? LOL
But in all seriousness that is normal for most people as habits are hard to break.
I know I am not alone in my journey, there are many of us working to climb that hill and succeed at getting healthy again.
I am a work in progress and I am documenting my journey to see where my journey has had its failures and where it has succeeded so that I can maybe help others who face similar journeys.
We are all in this world together and we live the same lives we are just in different chapters. If I can help motivate just one person to get their health back on track or to look at me and say, "I don't want to be like that." Then my journaling and tracking has been a success.
Of course this journey is all about one else. My failures, my successes, my feelings. No one else can do this journey for me. I have to do it for my self.
I am 42 and fighting gravity, odds and the stress of everyday life from living with my spouse and kids...being a soccer mom, a team manager, a full time worker, a Owner of my own business and tracking day to day finances. The one thing my whole life I have always done is FORGOTTEN ABOUT ME!
I was always last! Now look at me...this is what happens when you put yourself last.
I have everything I need, but I am missing one important thing..can you guess?? Let me spell it out.
First the things I have that I need and I am thankful for:
      1. a wonderful husband (Scott) who loves me and adores me and finds me beautiful even when I don't
          find my self beautiful. I am so blessed that he loves me for who I am! For that I am thankful.
      2.  a daughter who loves me and appreciates me.
      3.  a son who adores me and appreciates me and loves me.
      4.  a God who loves me no matter what size I am and who gives me strength to get up each day to fight   this battle.
Second, out of all this, the one thing I would change and the one thing I am missing is:
             MY HEALTH!!! I never would have guessed I would be 42 with a thyroid issue and type 2 diabetic. My feet hurt, my knees ache and my back hurts. 42 is not OLD people...LOL Just ask all the 40 something people out there in the world or even the late 30's....when we are in shape our lives are better, we feel better and we can do things that we once loved to do, like playing competitive sports and riding rides at the theme parks and going hiking with the family. Things normal weight people take for granted, things I took for granted when I was healthy(many moons ago)  So much I want to do again and the only thing standing in my way: Myself and this weight I carry! So I am going to keep on with this journey and I know I will succeed because FAILURE IS NOT AN OPTION!


Sunday, January 20, 2013

DAY 3: Saturday! Weekends are not my friend!

WEEKENDS: Not my friend!!!:(
I don't know about you guys but they are the hardest thing for me. We do so much on the weekend and my routine is always out of sorts.
I am doing a trashout and maid service on a property in Paris Ky, and I will def get my workout but there is no water at this house so I can't drink a lot of water due to there being no where to go pee. These are times when being a man would come in handy. LOL

WOKE UP: 9:00 am
MEAL TIMES: 10:30 am, 5 pm, 10 pm

1.     No exercises per say but I did work from 10 am to 9 pm walking and cleaning.

TOTAL CALORIES CONSUMED OUT OF 1793 CALORIE GOAL:2215 went over goal 442 :(

 98 grams  PROTEINS
 269 grams  CARBS
 121 grams  FATS

McDonald's-ate my second meal ate at 5 pm
Raising Cane's ate at 10 pm
These two helped to contribute to my added calorie intake. Wow didn't realize how much calories are really in that fast food stuff.

Total Chaos today, I knew from the time I woke up to the time I went to bed that my day was not going to be successful...hate that feeling but we went to Paris to do a Trash out on a property(means cleaning out all the junk after a foreclosure the people didn't take with them) and we cleaned it top to bottom. We had a crew of people and we started at 10 am and finished at 9 pm ..It was a long long day. I was so tired by the time I got home, my feet and back ached, so food choices during the day were not the best. Mcdonald's and Raising Canes come to mind..:( Before when I had a day like that I would quit an say WAIT TILL MONDAY....but not happening this time...I will do better today and drink my water and say no to the comfort foods of yesterday.

Eat better, Do Exercise, drink more water, eat less take out food..:( be more determined.

12:00 am

Saturday, January 19, 2013

DAY 2: Thank God for Small Victories

Its Friday, Friday, Friday.....time for my weekly weight in....drum roll please.....ddddddddldldldldldldldldldldldlddd
WEIGHT GAIN/LOSS: Loss of 1.5 Lbs....
Throw the confetti, and light the candles....I am so happy! Its funny it has only been a day but its amazing how much water weight we carry and yesterday I drank 5 glasses of water and my eyes were floating and I pee'd ....ALOT!!! But it was worth it for the 1.5 pound result in one day.

WAKE UP: 10:30 am :(

 1 pm,

TIME 1:30 pm

  1. 1 x 20 push ups (on counter)
  2. 1 x 20 squats (using chair)
  3. 1 x 20 rows (no band or weights while standing)
Not too happy I didn't do more exercise but will do better tomorrow as I have a maid service and home trashout in Paris KY to complete. I will def get my work out!!! 

TOTAL CALORIES CONSUMED OUT OF 1793 CALORIE GOAL:I ate 1859 calories:( 85 over for day but still 881 calories under budget for the week...

66 grams  CARBS
75 grams  FATS
66 grams  PROTEINS
still have a ways to go to get this better but tonight was pizza night and oh what a temptation...however I ate on three slices as opposed to five so I will not beat myself up...

I feel bad that I slept so late, I have so much work to do but I think I am trying to get sick and my body was exhausted. I need to go to bed earlier and get up earlier. When I am not productive it adds to my feeling of being a failure. I had a sleep study done tonight too so I couldn't drink the gallon of water as I should have but I am back to it on Saturday.
No matter what happened to day I still feel excited about losing the 1.5 lbs....:)

Excercise more, drink more water, and go to bed earlier.


Bye for now...tomorrow is a new day!


Friday, January 18, 2013


Why not start now?
Today-Thursday January 17th, 2013-  was the first day of my journey to better health. Yes, I started on a Thursday and we all know good fitness and diets start on Mondays right?? But I refused to wait till Monday to begin and besides, I met with my trainer, Trent Castleman and he told me I had to start today.
My start weight is 277.(280 at the doctors office today but that was with clothes on)
I was not as successful as I wanted to be however I am a work in progress and I have to let allow myself baby steps to get started. Rome wasn't built in a day right? 

My day was busy as usual and I was very sad that I did not work in enough exercise like I was instructed to do. However, at 11:42pm before I allowed myself to prepare for bed I got some of the exercise in.
10 Push Ups     10 Squats     10 Seated Rows    10 Sit Ups(in bed) really they were crunches.

9:00 am and 5pm

My personal trainer, Trent Castleman, told me:

*Drink 1 Gallon of water a day-Buy a one gallon jug of drinking water, put my name on it, and finish it everyday. 
*Do 3 sets of 20 each 2 times a day:(No more than 30 seconds rest in between)  1. Squats                2. Rows                   3.Push Ups             4. Crunches

*Do 30 Min Cardio (walking on treadmill at no incline for first 2 weeks)

*Weight Loss goal is 2 Lbs per week.

*Weigh once a week: Friday Morning, butt naked after you go pee.

*Must eat 5 meals a day within my goal caloric intake of 1773. TODAY I WAS UNDER 967 CALORIES: Mostly because I forgot to eat.EPIC FAIL MOMENTS: 
did not drink the gallon of water, did not eat the five meals a day, did not do the 30 min cardio, did not do all sets of the exercises
drank 5 cups of water, did one set of all exercises even though it was at 11:45 at night.
I got up at 8 am and went to bed at 12:40 am.

109 grams CARBS
31 grams    FATS
72 grams   PROTEINS

I felt hopeful today, happy to know I have made my mind up to do this. However when my day got chaotic I began to feel like a failure before I even got started. Trent (my trainer) told me not to be discouraged. One day at a time. The good thing is that I was thinking about a healthier life now and recognizing when I am not doing things exactly right. 

THINGS TO IMPROVE ON TOMORROW: exercise more, drink more water, and eat more, don't let anything stand in my way.